Window Shopper: Ship Whacked

WHAT, NO BERING SEA SEARCH-AND-RESCUE EXPERIENCE? This seller of this boat in Brooklyn, Md., must have gotten a lot of use out of it, because it appears time spent out on the water as resulted in the sun's UV rays frying his/her brain. First, this vessel is apparently the Wyatt Earp of speedboats, traveling the United States dispensing justice and serving the public, as "it may have been a Florida sheriff boat at one time" but they also "BELIEVE IT WAS A BOAT USED BY THE CALIF. LIFE GUARD PATROL," which, to our knowledge, is not a real organization. But if you like your boats with a bit of backstory and are interested, take note of a few requirements of bidders: One, be literate ("IF YOU CAN'T READ, GET HELP! Before YOU BID!!!!!! AND WIN!!!!!!") and be serious ("IT'S NOT TIME TO COME PLAY") and have exact change ("I ONLY CAN GET TO THE BANK TOMORROW, I ONLY HAVE $4K WITH ME, AND NO CHANGE"). Oh, never mind, we're only playing with you, we were actually looking for a boat that had been used by the New Hampshire Coast Guard.
» "1986 Whitewater with 2 Merc 300 engines WOW!"

» WINDOW SHOPPER is our daily look at the best -- and worst -- of classified advertising. For more Window Shopper, click here. (And feel free to send us your classified picks.)