Roth's Career 'Jump's the Shark

HE SOUNDS A LOT WORSE 'RIGHT NOW': When Van Halen's "Jump" came out in 1984, your immediate reaction was probably not — "Yeah, but imagine this would sound like as a bluegrass song!" You probably also wouldn't imagine that such a project would ever be anything that someone with the coolness-level of David Lee Roth would ever willingly undertake. But that's just because people always underestimate the kinds of shameless gimmicks that aging rockers will use to garner attention. We certainly aren't looking forward to Eddie Vedder, 20 years from now, croaking out "Jeremy" in zydeco as fans squirm with the wrongness of it all.
» "David Lee Roth performing 'Jump' — bluegrass style." [YouTube]

YOU KNOW THOSE PEOPLE INSIDE THE CARTOON COSTUMES AT DISNEY WORLD? They're not really that happy. In other news, the lack of Washington on this list strongly suggests this study was not conducted during rush hour. [Men's Health via WSMV-TV]

LOWERING THE BAR: The article is called "bartender myths" but you'd have to be a moron to believe "myths" like "bartenders are idiots" or "bartenders want your phone number." Actually these "myths" are just a lame excuse for one bartender to remind us all that we are booze-swilling buffoons whom bartenders only tolerate for the outrageous sums of extra money we give them to spend 3 seconds pouring a drink and handing it to us. Or is that just a myth? [MetroActive]

HUMPH, JUST ASK US ABOUT 'HEY JUDE': Music fans will yawn at this quick summarizing of the ins & outs of rock & roll sex scandals — most of these are established legends that fans often race to be the first to retell whenever one of the relevant artists is mentioned. Just be careful when armed with this new knowledge: There's only so many times when the Led Zeppelin-and-a-mud-shark thing works naturally into conversation. [Blender]

Photo by Dudley M. Brooks/The Washington Post.