Tacky Halloween!

INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW to create a generic female Halloween costume: Take regular costume idea. Add the word "sexy" in front of it. Decrease fabric over legs. Increase cleavage. Voila! True, it may not be very scary — well, for some women, it can be pretty scary ... we're talking to you, girl who went as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, but looked like Lara Croft, Fridge Raider — but, let's face it, you're not getting embarrassingly wasted at a bar to frighten away similarly inebriated boys, now are we? As for guys: if you're trying to convey sex appeal with your costume, you want to strive for subtlety.
» "Super Snake arcade game adult costume." [Amazon]

» HEY CANADIANS: For lunch, did you enjoy your leftover-turkey sandwich? [Proud Canadian Kids]

» WHAT DO I WIN FOR 14 'NEW YORK AVENUE'S? Today marks the start of McDonald's annual Monopoly promotion, in which customers feverishly cram McCholesterol into their arteries to obtain as many worthless stickers as their greasy little paws can peel. Problem is, whenever you get one of those property-thingies, you never know if it's one of the many, many useless ones, or whether your wrapped greasewich just came with $5 million stuck to it. Better do some research before ordering everything on the menu. [Amazing Bargains]

» YOU MIGHT THINK THIS YALE GRAD'S VIDEO RESUME IS A BIT MUCH: But it's just fine for the "hokey self-promotional motivational speaker" position he's applying for. [YouTube via IvyGate]