Bauer by Hour: Jack Busts Out the Chair, Again

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Express' Matt Swenson, an admitted "24" addict, is proud to say he's never been strapped to a chair by Jack Bauer. The following takes place between noon and 1 p.m.

SO YOU THINK SPENDING AN hour with your family is torture? Try being a Bauer.

For the second time in three hours, Jack straps brother Graham aka Graem aka Bad Bauer in a chair and does some needlepoint — and trust me, there was no sewing involved. You see, Jack thinks his bald brother has something to do with this year's nuclear plot in L.A.. Ten minutes in the chair and 8 ccs of injected poison later, Graem was probably thinking how much nicer a helicopter blade to the arm would feel.

Needless to say, Jack finds out — SPOILER ALERT — his brother tried to kill him last year — naturally after ordering the murders of former President David Palmer and CTU agents/married couple/Jack friends Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler to draw Jack out of hiding — END SPOILER.

And that's not even mentioning Phillip Bauer (James Cromwell, not Donald Sutherland) — SPOILER ALERT — earning Really Bad Bauer status by killing Bald Bad Bauer during his reveal as the true bad guy — END SPOILER. Jack's going to need some therapy, that's if he can save the day. He's got four nukes to stop and just 17 hours to do it in (including two hours next week!). Now to the minutes.

» VIGO POWERS: Anyone who's seen "Ghostbusters 2" knows Peter MacNicol is only an evil stooge, not some major villain who will take down President Wayne Palmer. Now it appears Powers Boothe ("Deadwood"), playing the vice president, is the Vigo of "24," eager to do away with the Constitution and set up internment camps for Muslims.

» THERE'S AN EVIL V.P.? Duh, it's "24." The Palmer brothers have a real knack for picking losers as running mates. To be fair, though, President Logan — Season 5's awesome villain — was second fiddle to President Keeler, who was the commander-in-chief shot down aboard Air Force One in Season 4. (Got all that? Good, there will be a quiz later).

» MORRIS CODE: Chloe still has nothing to do, but main squeeze/CTU techie Morris is about to become a key character. First, his brother is in the hospital due to the nuclear blast. Then he helps uncover the engineer who's going to help baddie Fayad set off the other nukes. Then we learn — BIG SPOILER ALERT — he's the engineer! And the brother news was just a ruse so the bad guys can kidnap him so he helps with the nukes, willingly or not END SPOILER.

» MISSING IN ACTION: Kim Bauer, Audrey Raines, her father James Heller and sexy assassin Mandy are still nowhere to be found. Sigh. But Kim Raver (Audrey) is set to appear in 2007, according to IMDB.com.

» WHY THIS SHOW IS "24" AND YOUR SHOW ISN'T MOMENT: Did you catch a look at Jack's face as he screamed, "We are NOT the SAME!" before coming oh-so-close to offing Graem? You don't get that kind of acting on CSI.

Photos courtesy Fox