Bauer by Hour: A New Alias?

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Express' Matt Swenson, an admitted "24" addict, wishes Jack Bauer looks like Sidney Bristow. The following takes place between 12 a.m. and 1 a.m.

BACK IN THE DAY, "24" debuted the same time as another spy show, "Alias" did. For a year, there may have even been some real debate which was the better program. Jack Bauer and Sidney Bristow probably attract different fanatics. Then what is known as the J.J. Abrams effect took place, as the writer/director took promising "Alias" and promptly ruined it with one stupid storyline over the next. Hence, "24" is still around and Jennifer Garner found enough time to have Ben Affleck's kid.

Why so much "Alias" chat, you may ask? Because the far superior "24" appears to be dipping into that well, and rest assured, this is not a good thing. Monday night, Jack did almost everything he said he was going to do except make sure the Chinese bad guy didn't get a Russian nuclear component, blow himself up and restore order to the world. Details, details. But Jack did manage to secure the release of ex-flame Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped by the Chinese between seasons 5 and 6 trying to rescue Blond Bauer.

There's just one catch, Audrey's vocabulary seems to have shrunk. "Help me Jack. Keep them from doing this to me," is all she can say. This means either A.) she has been brainwashed to Timbuktu or B.) this is not Audrey, but rather a clone made to look just like her.

Either way, we are in "Alias" territory now with four episodes to go. Now the real question isn't where Jack can save the day but rather if Kiefer Sutherland can save"24" from itself. Onto the minutes ...

» "YOU'RE FIRED!": Nothing says love quite like that, as CTU chief Bill Buchanan learns when his wife/NSA director Karen Hugh… er Karen Hayes fires him. It's all politics really. Bill let original Season 6 baddie Fayad two years ago, so he's the fall guy for today's catastrophe (did he write the season, too?) and Karen had to ax him to show she is independent. Filling in for Bill will be Nadia, who not too long ago was suspected of being a traitor because she is of Middle Eastern descent.

» BALANCE OF POWERS: Evil V.P. Powers Boothe is quickly assuming power as acting president now that Wayne Palmer is back in coma. His first two acts: Make sure Vigo sympathizer Peter MacNicol bring down his infant presidency, and then make out with his hot, blond assistant in the Oval Office.

» TROUBLE IN PARADISE: With World War III imminent, there's no better time than to have a lover's squabble, right? Morris and Chloe can’t get along to the point Morris asks for a transfer away from his ex-wife. Save the world? Lose the girl? Some priorities.

» MISSING IN ACTION: Kim Bauer, Audrey Raines' father James Heller and sexy assassin Mandy.

» WHY THIS SHOW IS "24" AND YOUR SHOW ISN'T MOMENT: This comes to you from the trailer for next week. President Powers thinks there is a mole in the White House, and there are never, ever moles on this show. Oh wait. Our guess: Powers' hot assistant is leaking the info.

Photo courtesy of Fox