STYLES

Baggage Check: No Touching!

Dr. Andrea Bonior dives into the world of psychology.

2007-06-16-drandrea.gifA middle school in Fairfax County has recently gained attention for its "no-touch" mandate, which bans everything from handshakes to high fives to hugs. (On a positive note, the incidence of cooties is at an all-time low!)

The school claims that, due to overcrowding, it's easier to ban touch across the board rather than acknowledge the vast spectrum of gradations. At the same time, though, the rule is inconsistently enforced — so the gradations exist, they just remain up to the whims of the teachers.

The healthiness of teaching students that rules should be extreme but enforcement should be conditional is questionable. Equally questionable is to create a severe rule, not for its inherent soundness or goodness, but for the faux convenience of the staff.

Are we really comfortable telling a 13-year-old that shaking a new friend's hand is bad? Would the adolescent lunchroom provide the same amount of emotional growth if best friends can't give each other warm hugs after dustups and conflicts? Should 14-year-old couples really be led to believe that holding hands is the same level of taboo as making out in the hallway? Appropriate touch enhances social learning, emotional growth and relational connections, as does the mindset of "We trust you to make good decisions," rather than "We'll be extreme because we know you'll screw up."

Administrators maintain that the policy protects those for whom touch would be unwelcome. But by demonizing even developmentally appropriate, growth-oriented contact, what we're really protecting kids from is learning the nuances of this part of living. Worst of all, it smells of a desperate copout for staff not to have to bother assessing the intricacies of teenage behavior when making rules and decisions — a troubling policy for a middle school indeed.

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COMMENTS (4)

  • I don't know about everyone else, but I applaud this school-house for taking a stand against this tom-foolery that occurs with the children of today.

    In my day, stealing a glance at a woman's un-clothed ankle would get you a dozen lashes with a switch. Dancing was forbidden, and we did't have any of this repugnant "holding-of-the-hands" that high schoolers are now apt to do.

    Lord Fairfax himself would have been proud of these heroic schoolmasters for no longer putting up with the shenanigans of these young whippersnappers of today!

    By Augustus Hemmings , Posted June 20, 2007 2:58 PM

  • This policy is so asinine, it defies description. Shaking hands is "tomfoolery"? Get a life!

    I'd like to know where these geniuses were when my son was in high school in that county, and was roughed up by his teammates in the football locker room? I'd like to know what made it okay for the coach to join in. I didn't find out about it until my son graduated, and I read it on his MySpace page.

    Maybe the coach would like to try that with me. Maybe the county school system would like to get a grip on reality before it dreams up any more stupid ideas like this one.

    Oh, and hey Gus, Lord Fairfax would be expelled for shaking hands, by the way. Ever thought of that? Nah, didn't think so.

    By David L Alexander , Posted June 21, 2007 8:33 AM

  • Don't you lecture me about foot-ball young David. We were State Champions in '24, led by our our mullato captain Octavius Johnson and a vicious flying wedge that would put these jackanape youngsters of today to shame.

    I can still remember as we rode the streetcar to Wisconsin Ave in King George's Town to celebrate our triumph. Lord Fairfax was there to greet us with mugfuls of sweet cider and more candied prunes than you could ever imagine.

    That's where I met my sweet Sally Hastings for the first time. Her corset was fashioned from the finest baleen from Nantucket- and her face as white as a porcelain doll's. Oh what a vision she was....that Sally Hastings

    By Augustus Hemmings , Posted June 22, 2007 1:05 PM

  • Augustus Hastings... you are a fool! You have been all your life. I should hope that after all these years you have grown up and moved on with your life. Yet it is clear that you are up to your old loquacious ways again. I am surprised that you are in such support of this "no-touch" law. Don't you remember how we would hold hands as we strolled through the hallways of our own schoolhouse? How could you forget? I know I didn't! Giving a hug or high five to a fellow school mate is not "tom foolery" nor is "shenanegan". It is a simple, normal expression of affection and friendship. What happens when children begin to think that kissing mummy and daddy goodbye in the morning is bad? Oh Gussy, get a grip!!

    By Sally Hastings , Posted July 2, 2007 10:57 AM
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