Baggage Check: 99 Bottles of Wine on the Wall ...

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GOT ISSUES? Dr. Andrea Bonior will help you sort them out.

I am worried about my husband's drinking. We both enjoy wine and fine dining, but he seems to have lost control. If I don't hide all the wine but the bottle we're drinking that night, he'll drink several more after I go to sleep (sometimes this is coupled with binge eating). I've tried asking him to leave one glass of wine at the bottom of the bottle or to leave the second bottle untouched, but he's never succeeded in these tests of will.

The upside is that he only drinks like this at home. He's also been on sleeping pills for as long as I've known him (without the supervision of a doctor). I was waking up at night to make sure he was still breathing pre-Heath Ledger; now I'm a total wreck. How do I help him? — NO NAME

Unlike any quips I can come up with about Goldschlager, this is quite serious stuff. Any kind of prescription medication (especially sleeping pills and those that aren't supervised by a doctor) combined with alcohol can be real cause for concern. The first thing to do is be honest about your role in this. Substance abuse and dependence are not about strength of character, so the "tests of will" have to stop, as they seem to be taking the role of enabling — and endangering — your husband.

And it might also be that your accumulation of bottles — which seems to rival a vineyard — might have to be curbed, at least temporarily, while you and your husband assess the situation. It¹s quite possible he has a problem, and there's a chance it might involve abstinence from alcohol as a treatment. He needs a thorough physical and a discussion about the sleeping pills with a doctor you trust — call in advance to express your concerns — and most likely he needs counseling to get to the bottom of why his anxiety has gotten so out of control, and to find other ways to cope outside of booze, binges and pill bottles. If you can't get him to agree to seek help, you must keep trying, and get some support yourself. Al-Anon is a great place to start.

Is it a bad sign if your new boyfriend talks about his ex all the time? It's always bad stuff, so it's not like he wants her back, but I'm starting to think that he's obsessed with the past.— CONCERNED

It's not the greatest of signs if your new boyfriend talks about anything all the time, whether it be his ex, Christina Aguilera or what the proper name is for those sticks that separate groceries at the checkout counter. Bad-mouthing one's ex and ruminating about it don't bode well for his having come to terms with that relationship, no matter how it ended. Maybe it's nervousness, or it's a topic that he mistakenly thinks you find entertaining. Next time he launches into such a soliloquy, you might gently comment, "I feel like you talk about Sheila quite a lot — but I'm more interested in looking forward than dwelling on the past." If he doesn't take the hint, that bad sign just got a good bit worse.

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.

Art by Eric Reece for Express