Idol Chatter: Let It Be ... Over

Express' Greg Barber reviews the second week of Beatles tunes on "American Idol."

THE AUDIENCE is 500 people strong — and that's just in the studio. At home, there are millions, most still not quite released from the icy chains of winter to go do something other than watch television on a Tuesday evening.

The mission: Give 11 nobodies (some of whom now have fan bases that rival those of major stars thanks to the power of this one little television program) another crack at the songs of The Beatles and hope they don't screw them up too badly. Like some of them *cough*KristyLeeCook*cough* did last week.

Ever a paragon of modesty, Seacrest sums it up this way: "Back by popular demand, the number-one show in the country celebrates the number-one band of all time. We're back with The Beatles."

OK. Except comparisons to The Beatles end when you remember this: Those guys were so awe-inspiringly popular that women shrieked at their mere presence. If they appeared in public, girls screamed on the street. If it was in a movie, girls screamed in the theater throughout the showing — as my mom admitted she once did during a showing of "Hard Day's Night" in Alexandria many, many moons ago. If they appeared on Ed Sullivan, I'll bet some of those crazy gals blew Dad's eardrums out by screaming at home.

I'd love to talk to the first girl who decided to shriek in The Beatles' presence and ask her what made her think this was an appropriate means to express her feelings. And how exactly it was she got everyone else to follow along. For years. To the point that the band stopped touring since nobody was listening to their music at live shows anyway.

Did they think it would woo the guys in the band? Get Paul to hold their hand? Get John to give 'em a flirty wink? Get Ringo to ... OK, none of it was for Ringo. Maybe they were screaming because of Ringo? "Get away from those hot guys!" they might have been saying.

It's hard to know for sure. Except I do know this: David Archuleta and Jason Castro might elicit the screams of little teen fangirlies every time they take the stage, but until those squeals drown out the whole damned song, they can't hold a candle to The Beatles.

Just sayin'.

RETURN OF THE MEH
As Seacrest goes to introduce the judges, he catches Randy yawning. But he's awake enough to make a reference to Paula's single "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow," which is featured on his album, "Randy Jackson's Music Club, Vol. 1," which was just released last week.

He makes such references so people like me need to write out spiels like the one above. Since this is likely to continue, from here on out, I'll replace references to Randy's album with the term "meh." It'll save us all time and energy.

A gal in the audience has a "Simon Is Sexy" sign. Did anybody else think she looked a little bit like excised Idolite Kady Malloy? Weird.

Now that the show has broadened its focus from the Lennon-McCartney songbook to all the tunes of The Beatles, the producers treat us to an intro video that features images of all four band members: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr. George and Ringo were nowhere to be seen last week.

"The songs are guaranteed hits," Seacrest says, "the only variable is how our contestants will sing 'em." Too true. Unfortunately, the better question this week is which contestants will damage themselves the least.

AMANDA OVERMYER
The intro interview question of the week is "What was your most memorable moment on the show thus far?" Amanda's is "playing on the big stage."

"It's a hell of a lot better than the flatbed trucks I'm used to playing on," she says. If he was still on the show, David Hernandez might have said the same thing.

Sorry. Too easy.

She sings "Back in the USSR," a song you don't hear much anymore, since the Soviet Union's been defunct so long that there are college students who don't remember a time when it existed. (Note to those under 20: The USSR was the country belonging to the group of people halfway around the world we used to think were out to annihilate us. We used to have air raid drills and hide under desks and stuff. It was quaint. Click here to learn more.)

She does a pretty good job with the song. The beginning seems choppy and she either isn't singing into her microphone correctly or the control room has the volume down too low, because I have to strain to hear her. About 30 seconds into the song, her voice descends into a type of gravelly sound that's more sickly than strapping. But as the song builds to a crescendo, I have to admit, I'm grooving to it. She definitely knows how to work the audience. She's continuing her slow march back from sure defeat.

Randy compliments her song choice, but — surprise, surprise — finds it a little "pitchy at the beginning."

"By the middle of the song, I think you started feeling the crowd, the energy, and you picked it up, and it was really cool at the end," he says. "I've got to give you a seven out of 10 for that one. But it was good."

Paula also notes the pitchiness and says Amanda was a little ahead of the beat at the beginning of the song. "But when you connect," she says, "you are quintessential, authentic, who you are. ... You don't have to be different from who you are — I'd love to see you do a vulnerable ballad at one point. I love you and I think that you're going to continue to keep going up."

Simon, however, is a splash of cold reality. "It was what it was," Simon says, "it was predictable, it was a bit of a mess in parts. ... It's just the same thing week after week after week."

Here's the thing he says that I agree most with: She needs to do something to surprise us or run the risk of being "a bit boring." Absolutely true. I don't look forward to her performances the way I do David Cook's, since I know he'll do something to keep me on my toes. Anyone who doesn't do that this season isn't going to keep viewers happy, I don't think.

Amanda's response: petulance and profanity.

"Ballads are boring," she sniffs. "I figure I have a minute and a half to show America what they would see if they came to my show and bought a ticket to see me. Then, you know, I've got a minute and a half a week, so that's what I'm doin'. I want people to come and see it cause, 'Hey that shit looks like fun, I want to go see that show.'"

That response comes on a day when Express' poll question was, "Do you think TV networks should be fined for inadvertently airing profanity?" Ah, life's little ironies.

The camera cuts to Simon, who's clearly tickled at Amanda's little four-letter rebellion. Then, we see Amanda, who pumps her arms in the air and lets out a self-satisfied, "Yeah!"

Back to Simon: "Amanda, I'm just saying, your tickets aren't on sale yet. So, we might be jumping the gun a little bit here."

The little outburst struck me less as a badass making her badassness known to the world and more like a bratty kid popping out a naughty word to ruffle Mom and Dad's feathers. I like profanity as much as the next red-blooded editor, but that little display just dropped her a notch in my estimation. It was really immature.

KRISTY LEE COOK
Her most memorable moment is one she'll relive again soon: Standing on stage with one other contestant during the final moments of an elimination show. "I've pretty much been the last man standing out on stage at every elimination night," she says. "That's a lot of stress.... It's really scary"

She'd never heard "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" before this week, apparently. She does a pretty good job with it — but, then again, anything's better than her criminal treatment of "Eight Days a Week" last week.

The swooping arrangement is at turns engaging and a little offputting in its intensity. Her voice is serviceable, but not spectacular. It's not one of John Lennon's more complex songs, and her straightforward rendition is technically proficient, but nothing to write home about. It's one of her better performances, but mostly because it's not offensive in any way.

"It's an interesting arrangement," Randy says. "At the end, when you hit the high note, I was like, 'Yeah, that's what the whole song should have been.' ... It felt a little boring and really safe."

"I've got to tell you, though, this is the best you've ever looked — you look gorgeous tonight," Paula says, which, as we've learned, means she absolutely hated the performance. "It was a little safe, and just kind of like — it was good. I agree with Randy on the high notes, if you could just take those liberties a little more, it would be a little more interesting."

"I think you need something like hypnosis or something," Simon says. "The problem is, you're not a good performer. The last two seconds were OK. ... It's like musical wallpaper, insomuch as, you notice it, but you can't remember it."

"Hey, some people like it, some people don't," Kristy says, not helping her case at all.

"You were better this week, I will grant you that," Simon says.

If she's not toast this week, then her fan base is certifiably yuuuuuge.

In her own defense, she says, "it's kind of new to me, the Beatles thing, but, you know, I just kind of had fun with it and tried to do my own thing and hopefully, you know, something good came out of it. And hopefully I'm here next week, 'cause I can blow you out of your socks and you know it," she says, pointing at Simon.

If he was still on the show .... No. Not gonna do it. Decorum, Barber. Decorum.

DAVID ARCHULETA
One of Li'l David's most memorable moments is one I haven't been able to forget: When he forgot the lyrics to "We Can Work it Out" last week. "The first thing I thought was, 'Dang it.'"

Just like Amanda would say.

"But, you know, it's just like, you have to keep going, there's nothing you can do about it anymore. You're here in the Top 12 and even though you just messed up really bad in front of millions of people ... you always have to concentrate on the positive side of everything."

He's got a lot of positive to focus on — his performance of "The Long and Winding Road" isn't just a big hit with the fangals, it's a return to form. Aside from a slight slip where he falls out of step with the band, Li'l David is in fine form. Gone was the weird low-pitch frogginess that kicked off last week's song. And he even remembered the words.

It's not as good as he was when he sang "Imagine," but it's better than anything we've seen from the other contestants thus far.

"They're right to clap, because David Archuleta's brought the hotness back to his game tonight," Randy says. "You played it a little safe, you were still bringing it, but take some liberties on joints like that," he advises.

"The fact that you can rise above adversity, come back strong — that challenge doesn't build character, it reveals your character," Paula says. "And you're wonderful."

What kind of cracked-out fortune cookie did she get that pablum out of? And, Paula sweetheart, come on. He didn't just recover from a bout of whooping cough, he forgot the lyrics to a song. That's not overcoming adversity, that's using flashcards.

"David, last week was a complete mess," Simon says. "This week, I thought you were amazing. ... That was master class."

The girlies cheer. He gives that "aw, shucks" smile.

Anybody else getting a little tired of this routine? I think I'm backlashing.

He's good, though. Maybe that's the problem. It's just week after week of thinking, "Yeah, this kid's really good." There's nowhere for him to improve, really; the only variation was when he screwed up. Otherwise, it's continued excellence. But that's its own kind of boring.

Watching someone hit a home run is thrilling — once. Or twice. Three times, even. But every game? Snoozefest.

IDOL CHATTER QUIZ TIME!
This'll perk us up: Who or what does Paula most resemble during this episode?
a) Diahann Carroll (another one for the over-30 crowd)
b) A Tiffany lamp
c) The comic-book superheroine Dazzler
d) Rue McClanahan
e) Luray Caverns

MICHAEL JOHNS
Michael Johns' most memorable moment is kind of sad. It's the time during Hollywood Week when he sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, which is the very last time he ever impressed me with a performance. Every time he comes on stage, I get my hopes up, and every time he fails to reach the bar he set for himself.

He doesn't make it this time, either.

He takes on "A Day In the Life," and, as he suggests in his intro interview, compressing that song into less than two minutes of time isn't an easy trick. And his arrangement doesn't quite work.

His voice is in great form, except when he misses the song's signature high note. The pacing is fine, except at the end, when he appears to lose track of the beat and the words.

Don't get me wrong, it's better than he's been in weeks. But I still want him to get me on the edge of my seat like he did back in Hollywood. And he still didn't deliver.

"You know already what I'm kinda going to say, right?" Randy says. "I don't know if that was the right Beatles song for you. ... You of anybody up here can just sing and let your voice do your thing. But you haven't found that vehicle to do that yet. It wasn't one of your good ones, baby."

Paula says he was better in dress rehearsal. And she suggests that maybe performing with a monitor in his ear — as all of the contestants are now, apparently, so they can hear their own performances as they're singing them — is throwing him off.

"The long and short of it is it was a mess," Simon says, "You didn't hit the right notes, the song went all over the place, it's a very complicated song, it doesn't work as a minute and a half, Michael. ... That was not good enough, sorry."

But then we learn that Michael isn't actually wearing an earpiece. And that he sang the song so that he could dedicate it to a friend of his who died last year. And we all feel just a bit uncomfortable for the spanking he got just now, don't we?

I didn't dislike the performance as much as the judges did, but I don't think it did what he needed it to do, which was provide a compelling reason why he should stay in the competition. This won't be his last week, but his finale will approach rapidly if he doesn't raise his game.

BROOKE WHITE
In retelling her memorable moment, Brooke gives herself a pat on the back. "When I found out we were going to The Beatles again, I was a little overwhelmed, because "Let It Be" went so well, and it was probably one of the most memorable moments of my life. It was just beyond me, the moment was bigger than I could imagine."

Yeah.

"Here Comes the Sun," a carefully sculpted gem from George Harrison, is one of my favorite songs. Which makes me cringe even more when Brooke gets her hands on it.

This is a song about reflection and renewal. About a wounded soul emerging from the darkness and endeavoring to experience the world again. It's about that spirit we all have inside us to pick up and carry on regardless of what life throws our way.

Brooke's performance is a $2 greeting card. It's saccharine. It's syrupy. It's cutesy. She bops around the stage in her frilly, sun-kissed yellow dress, then shimmies her shoulders and gyrates like a third-string backup dancer. She tinkers with the song's masterful melodies until all that's left is a kiddie show sing-songiness that even Sharon, Lois & Bram would scoff at.

Disagree if you like, Brooke-lovers, but this performance is schlock.

"That performance was really awkward for me for the first time for you," Randy says. "You were never really connected to that song for me. ... It was not hot for me."

OK, Brooke's constant talking during the judges' critiques is getting on my nerves.

"What was hot for me," Paula says, "is that you can't help but smile when you watch you and when you listen to you sing. ... You know, it could have been more challenging and you could have, you know, not played it as safe. But Brooke, you're a lovable girl."

"I thought the performance was terrible," Simon says, "from the horrible dancing to the absolute lack of connection. It was wet," — wet? — "it was forgettable."

"Look, listen, they've been — you guys have been really nice to me, so it's OK, you guys," Brooke says, sounding like she's trying to calm the crowd, lest they attack the judges for daring to criticize the Sun Queen. What, did the mosh pit start brandishing wooden stakes or something?

"This week was inevitable after last week," she says, her voice lowering. She was right to try to break out of her comfort zone, but wrong, wrong, wrong in the way she did it.

DAVID COOK
His memorable moment was also last week. "I remember this very euphoric feeling; nothing could hurt me," he says.

He blasts his way through a scorching version of "Day Tripper," molded, he says, after a Whitesnake take on the song. It's not as mesmerizing as his "Eleanor Rigby" was last week, but it's still a damned good performance. This guy has the DNA of a rocker.

The only thing I didn't get was his use of a talk box — the thing that allows a singer to control the notes of an instrument using his mouth movements (see Frampton, Peter). It seemed totally superfluous. Leave the toys at home, Davey. Just sing the song.

"You keep it interesting. It's like going to another song at a David Cook concert," Randy says. "I don't know if it was your best performance, but it's another solid look for David Cook; I loved it."

"There's really not much else anyone can say, because you're ready to go sell records; you're ready to go sell lots and lots and lots," Paula says.

"David, I don' think that was as good as you thought it was, actually," Simon says, taking him down a peg. "You looked a bit smug throughout, and I thought the coda in the middle was just stupid. ... You've lost your element of surprise a little bit."

Yikes. I can see the smug thing; in fact, one of my Express colleagues has been chafing over David's smirkiness for weeks now. And I understand the point to a point, but I think that a little bit of cockiness is part of what being a rock star is all about. It's part of the packaging. And Simon ought to be able to recognize that.

CARLY SMITHSON
Her most memorable moment was also last week. This is getting a little repetitive.

She sings "Blackbird" — a bit of a gamble for her, since she's usually opted for punchy, rockish songs rather than a ballad like this soft Paul McCartney tune.

It's uneven. The end of the song is vocally stunning, but she seems to get away from the backing music, then it appears to get away from her. And the song's staccato lyrics keep her from doing what she does best, which is belting out the big notes. It's not her best work.

Also, the outfit. She looks like she's wearing a cupcake's maternity frosting. It's not flattering at all.

"Another great performance for Carly Smithson," Randy says. "Very nice, very control, very emotive. ... Heavy cooliosis level, Paula."

"You have an amazing tone to your voice," Paula says, "I love this season so much, because all of you are challenging each other to be greater at what you do. ... And you stand right in there with a capital 'f' for fantastic."

"Beatles song, week two, and you choose a song about a blackbird. I don't think that was a very smart thing to do," Simon says. "I thought the song was indulgent, I didn't like the song at all."

Carly, shocked, mixes it up. "Blackbird, fly, broken wing. I just feel like I've been trying — we've all been trying — to break this industry for so long, and it just — you get beaten down so hard that you feel broken. And for me, it's like, blackbird, fly."

I'm not sure what Simon is getting at. And Carly doesn't refute his argument — whatever it is. But she does keep him from doing her any further damage by shutting him up. And that is quite a feat.

JASON CASTRO
His most memorable moment was singing a bad last note on "Hallelujah," but still getting praise for it. A memory that's funny rather than self-serving. Points for that.

We had a discussion on a blog post yesterday about whether Jason had the chops to reach into the final weeks of the competition. I humbly suggested he wasn't so great. If he keeps performing numbers like "Michelle," he'll prove me wrong.

It's a great performance vocally. The song is right in his jingle-jangle wheelhouse. It's a tune that likely turned many a lady's eye toward Paul McCartney — and, lookie there, it just did the same thing for this dreadlocked crooner.

I still think he looks higher than Jerry Garcia in a poppy field, though.

"I don't know. I don't know if I really, really got it. It was just all right for me, man," Randy says. "I didn't feel like you were really connected with it that much, either, right?"

"It was all right for me, too. This week just came really fast; I didn't have a lot of time," Jason responds.

"Having said that, I feel like you get a little disconnected when you're away from your guitar," Paula says. "It became an intimate song that became kind of like a polka almost."

"This is a very weird show tonight," Simon says. "Where you're lucky is that this is a TV show, not a radio show. Because your face sold that. ... Your kind of goofiness that makes it work. Because if I was just listening to that French/English version of that song on the radio, it would be off."

I disagree. I thought the vocals were fine, it was his goofy — and Paula's right (woah), polkaish — delivery that caused a disconnect for me. If I hadn't watched him, I would have liked the song even more.

SYESHA MERCADO
Syesha and her ample bosom join Seacrest in the Coke Corner to introduce her mom and dad. Her most memorable moment was being in the bottom three last week. "I might have appeared to be defeated, but I really wasn't. I really needed that ... I needed that kick in my butt," she says.

It worked. This is her standout performance.

She played Paul McCartney's "Yesterday" with a quiet grace and heartfelt emotion. Her voice lifted, twisted and lilted in ways I'd never heard her attempt before. It's a song that's been covered thousands of times — the most of any song ever written, according to the Guinness Book of Records — so it's hard to break any new ground with it. But her version was sad and sweet, and it showed a depth that I hope will resonate with voters.

"So you took some liberties, worked on the melody, changed some things around a little bit," Randy says. "In my estimation, very, very, very good performance tonight."

"That vulnerability is really where you need to be because that sets you apart from everyone else," Paula says.

"I thought that was probably your best performance so far," Simon says. "It wasn't incredible, but you chose the best song.... I think that song and that performance should keep you in this competition."

Totally agreed. She earned it.

CHIKEZIE
His most memorable moment was getting compliments from the judges during Hollywood week. And then again last week, "except Ryan Seacrest was there touching my face."

Yeah. Creepy, right?

He performs "I've Just Seen a Face," a Paul McCartney song, and he once again pulls the old switcharoo. Which isn't quite as surprising as it was the last time.

He starts off singing the song as a straightforward pop tune, which wasn't all that exciting. Then, he whips out a harmonica and kicks into a country swing. It's a toe-tapping good time, but the performance overall seems more schizophrenic than last week's, which seemed to fit together more smoothly.

"It sounded like it could make a good country song," Randy says, "I like it when it went to the fast part. The slow part, I didn't quite get it. ... Harmonica, it was a very weird, strange arrangement."

"I disagree. You're showing who you are, and the depth and scope of your vocals," Paula says. "When you sing a ballad ... it is so pure, on pitch, beautiful. Then you show a whole different side of you. ... You did it again. You did it again."

"I thought, it started off OK, then you played the harmonica, which was literally atrocious," Simon says. "It wasn't as good as last week. I actually thought, you know what, it was gimmicky."

RAMIELE MALUBAY
Her memorable moment isn't so much a moment as a collection of them — the time she's spent with her new contestant friends.

They've got to start picking better questions for these video pieces.

She sings "I Should Have Known Better." It's a very long two minutes.

It's not that she isn't a good singer, because she is. But she has absolutely no stage presence. Zip. I could imagine going to a David Cook show, or a David Archuleta show, or even someone, somewhere down in a Louisiana bayou grooving to an Amanda Overmyer show. But Ramiele seems destined to be the best singer in her cube farm, and no amount of song-choosing or Wilford Brimley hat-wearing will change that.

"I wasn't jumping up and down, but I liked it," Randy says. "What I loved about this performance for you is that you showed the confidence that I know that's in there. ... It was all right."

"Definitely better than last week," Paula says. "I want very much for you to get back in that zone when you sang the Dusty Springfield song, and show what you got, 'cause now's the time to pick the right song."

"It sounded like Chikezie was on harmonica," Simon says. "The track sounded terrible. It sounded very amateurish, the whole thing. But you are in the same boat along with a lot of other people tonight, which were you chose really mediocre songs and didn't show the best of your ability. So, it is what it is."

FEARLESS PICKS
What a let down. So many of the Idolites soared last week, but a second helping of Beatles tunes might have been too much of a good thing. Even with access to some of the best songs ever written, the contestants still managed to turn out clunky performances.

The best turns of the night probably came from Li'l David Archuleta and David Cook. Jason Castro was good, but sing-songy and awkward. Carly Smithson was also okay, but picked a song that hamstrung her. Amanda Overmyer and Syesha Mercado gave performances that gained them some ground, but didn't set the bar high enough to kick them into the upper echelons of the competition.

Chikezie held steady, but needs to regain his upward trajectory — quickly — to stay in the game. The same could be said for Michael Johns, but he's been down so long he might not know which way up is.

It was a dismal night for Brooke White — I'm still trying to scrub that version of "Here Comes the Sun" out of my brain — but she'll survive.

I'll once again predict that Kristy Lee Cook is going home tonight, but I think Ramiele Malubay is a close second. If Kristy's fans had their phone-dialing fingers warmed up, it could be Ramiele who gets her ticket home.

» TONIGHT: The Top 10 are revealed after another Idolite is banished from the stage. I'll have a fresh recap tomorrow morning at readexpress.com/idol.

Until then, what did you think of Beatles, Part Deux? Did anybody have a good night? Were the judges too harsh? Was I? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Photos courtesy Fox

Posted By Greg Barber at 8:08 AM on March 19, 2008 Tagged in Arts & Events , Idol Chatter , Television , Top Columns

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