Tips From a Guy in Wing Tips: Michael Ian Black

PROBABLY NO ONE RACING in the National Marathon on Saturday has as compelling a reason to run as the hero of "Run Fat Boy Run": to get the girl. His form is poor, his coach's use of a spatula unorthodox and his time abysmal, but seeing the movie (which opens Friday) is a good prerace ritual anyway -- at least according to screenwriter Michael Ian Black.

» EXPRESS: So, was this inspired by seeing a fat guy run?
» BLACK: No, my imagination is actually broad enough that I was able to come up with it on my own.

» EXPRESS: What is it about marathons that make them seem so crazy?
» BLACK: I don't think marathons are crazy, but running a mile isn't fun. Running 26 is torturous. People's toenails fall off. Nipples chafe. I never want to take part in an activity that will make my nipples chafe.

» EXPRESS: So, you're not a runner? You seem like you have the body type.
» BLACK: I'm very sleek, like a cheetah. But I am an out-of-shape cheetah.

» EXPRESS: What's the longest you've run?
» BLACK: Five miles on a treadmill. That day was the peak of my physical fitness. I actually just had my first treadmill injury. But I probably shouldn't have been wearing wing tips.

» EXPRESS: Did you do any research to write the movie?
» BLACK: I bought a book on how to train for a marathon. That's how I found out that your nipples can chafe. But the movie has very little technical marathoning in it. The book had an eight-week training schedule, and I made it through two days.

» EXPRESS: Are there fitness benefits in watching "Run Fat Boy Run"?
» BLACK: Watching somebody doing a lot of running is just as good as running yourself. They've done studies on that. Laughing is good for the core muscles. And I can promise you almost zero nipple chafing. It depends on what you're wearing. I like those new shirts lined with sandpaper, so I have to be careful, but most people aren't as into fashion as I am.

» EXPRESS: Any thoughts on running fashion?
» BLACK: It doesn't really matter. No one looks particularly good running. Your face is flapping around, and sometimes you have diarrhea all over yourself in a long-distance event. I guess I don't like the people who run marathons in costumes. They just want attention.

» EXPRESS: So, how do you stay in shape?
» BLACK: I play poker. It gets the heart rate up. Mental agility is required. All that sitting has to burn calories. Is it the most aerobic activity? No. But I would say an hour is comparable to two and a half hours on an Exer-Glider. "And what is an Exer-Glider?" you ask. I don't know. But I think it's something Tony Little would sell.

» EXPRESS: Any advice for people running the National Marathon this weekend?
» BLACK: Stay hydrated, and don't die.

Photo courtesy Picturehouse