Bauer by Hour: There's Something Missing

| Print Post This | Like (0) | Comments (0)

Matt Swenson, a "24" fanatic, chronicles the seventh worst day in the life of Jack Bauer.

The following takes place between Noon and 1 p.m.
IF YOU ASSOCIATE one person — or one character — with "24," you are not alone. And that person is not Janeane Garafolo.

Yet here we were on Monday night watching one hour of a hit show that went, more or less, without its main star.

Yes, you are reading this right. Jack Bauer was MIA — save for a few precious moments in a van looking grim. Sure, he got to bury someone alive at the end. C'mon, that's just another day for him. Maybe Kiefer Sutherland had to make another crappy horror movie when they were shooting.

Instead, the action really focused on the new CTU — aka the FBI — which appears to be the center of all the technie, nerd goodness.

That's where Garofolo is, along with some bland-looking agent in love (secretly) with the women Jack buried and some slimy-looking guy who is apparently having an affair with a blond woman in the office.

Mock we must, but this strategy is not the worst idea. We already know Jack. If you want these "24" newbies to be memorable characters, they need screen time. Let's just not make a habit of giving Jack the back seat.

Now to the minutes ....

»TWIST AND SHOUT: Hey, we have a big new development in the dud storyline of Colm Feore's first man proving his son didn't commit suicide. Looks like the evil secret service is on the plot, and Feore’s protective agent did the deed. Feore's now trapped and left motionless by some drug in his coffee (one more reason to drink tea). We're left to believe he'll be offed next week, which probably means the girl summoned to the apartment to be killed also will save the day.

»HUSH: Was that a silent countdown we heard at the end? Perhaps a ploy to think — spoiler here — that the female FBI agent who befriended Jack earlier this season and is now being buried alive may be dying as we speak. Again, we'll believe it when we see it.

»BAD GUY: Why's jack burying again? Oh yea, he's faking being a terrorist with Tony Almeida so he can recover a device that can crash planes.

»IN THE WHITE HOUSE: The mean and nasty warden from "Shawshank Redemption" is clearly a mean a nasty attorney general out to stop the president from intervening in an African genocide.

»MISSING: Jack is there, nominally, but his daughter Kim Bauer isn't yet though there are rumors abound she'll show eventually. No Jon Voight or Naked Mandy either. Sigh.

WHY THIS SHOW IS "24" AND YOUR SHOW ISN'T MOMENT: The subtle drop-in of the inter-office FBI affair wins the day here. Nothing like infidelity to ensure someone becomes a villain.