Baggage Check: Move on From the Gift Gaffe

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I'm still upset about an incident with my closest friend. I was driving back to our hometown and she called me, desperate because she left her parents' gifts in her apartment. I had left a half-hour before but drove back to get the gifts. When I got closer and called, she said they were at a restaurant and could I swing by in another hour to give them to her. Then she told me just to leave them in their backyard, because they were still out. I did, and one present got wet and damaged. She chewed me out, and I screamed at her as well, because I felt totally taken advantage of. A couple weeks have passed, and things are totally weird between us, and I don't want to apologize.
— Frustrated

Friendship means many things. And even more important than being the arbiter of whether the other's butt looks fat, it means cutting each other some slack when (channeling a politician here) "mistakes were made."

I totally understand why you're upset, but you both screamed at each other and escalated things — the chicken/egg game of where it began isn't really productive. Presumably, your friendship goes back a long way, and you've slipped up occasionally, too. What separates a permanent, bitter rift from a brief bump in the road you can someday laugh about is open, honest communication and flexibility. You don't have to apologize, but you can tell her that although you're hurt, you want to move forward.

Is it weird to feel bummed about your upcoming wedding? "Rob" has a huge family with many issues and has had a lot of pressure put on him to make this wedding huge and perfect. I thought I could handle it all, but now that we're getting married this year, I find myself dreading it more than anything. I know a ton of people have wedding stress, but it just doesn't seem right.
­— Uneasy

All too often, the wedding becomes bigger than the matrimony. It's difficult to know whether this is just about planning a particularly stressful party, or whether it's something deeper. But planning a party — especially one at which the phrase "pew bows" is taken seriously — is a good test of all sorts of things: communication, patience, flexibility, sensitivity, conflict resolution and priorities.

It'd be easy just to say, "Wedding planning is stressful, especially with overbearing families," but those overbearing people won't disappear after the vows, and planning a satin-riddled banquet is far from the only challenge you'll face in a lifetime of togetherness. Take this dread seriously. It's an opportunity to listen to your gut and face this head-on, preferably by both of you talking to someone — or at least being honest with each other that this situation isn't working.

Art by Eric Reece