Idol Chatter: Packing Iraheta

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Express' Greg Barber recaps a rockin' results night on "American Idol."

THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE. "Last night, over 64 million votes were registered," Seacrest tells us in the show's opening moments. "That's the highest ever outside of a finale."

If you were at all concerned that the fans — die-hard and not — of Adam Lambert, Allison Iraheta, Danny Gokey and Kris Allen didn't give it their all after Tuesday night's performance show, you can breathe a little easier.

That's how seriously viewers are taking this season, which has wound down into a competition among four solid performers. And this episode is the moment when we get to see what all that dialing and texting has wrought. Because any one of them could be sent packing.

After we sift through the usual results night junk, that is. Although tonight, said junk has been paired with a few bits of multimedia that I'm actually kinda interested to see: performances by No Doubt (cool!) and Daughtry (meh.) — and a special appearance by Paula (is that a train I hear wrecking?).

But first, we're delighted to the dulcet tones of the Ford entertainmercial. The song: "Move Along" by the All-American Rejects. The plot: The Idolites are little paper cutouts living in a little paper cutout world, which they escape, sorta, by hopping into a Ford Fusion. It's like South Park, but without the flatulence jokes — or, well, any jokes at all. And I was a little surprised not to see Flat Stanley somewhere in the background.

Then, there's the group sing. Joining the group: celebrity mentor Slash, who shreds his way through Alice Cooper's "School's Out." And whaddya know — it's not awkward! The Idolites seem to be able to work together and not stumble all over themselves. Adam and Allison even reprise their harmonizing from Tuesday night's duet. Even Danny and Kris, who both seemed out of their element to varying degrees during the performance show, sound pretty good.

I'm not sure what to make of that. Also, I wonder why Slash isn't performing on his own during this episode — didn't his intro piece say he was working on a solo record? I guess it must not be far enough along yet?

JUST HERE FOR THE DANCING
Seacrest gets a little bit of banter time with the contestants, which is illuminating is usual (). But there's one bit of conversation worth mentioning: He asks Danny about the scream heard 'round the world — his eardrum-shattering blast of badness at the end of his performance of "Dream On" on Tuesday night.

"It's funny, when we're up here, the sound draws everything out, so I walked over there thinking, 'Yeah, I hit this, I did a pretty good job,'" Danny says, perhaps attempting to explain why he got so indignant when the judges didn't kiss his booty like they do most weeks after he performs, but instead offered the lightest and most tepid of criticism for what was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad performance. "But I listened to it back, and I have to say, I laughed the whole night. ... I think it's my funniest moment on 'American Idol.'"

Yeah. It's all a barrel of laughs till Steven Tyler gets in your face for butchering his song. He's a pretty sensible guy, but his lips have a mind of their own. They'd suffocate a man just to watch him die. Fair warning.

And there's just enough lead time for me to pop some popcorn and settle into my chair to watch an event eight years in the making: A live performance by Paula Abdul.

Well, um, sorta live. As in not, actually.

The song is "I'm Just Here for the Music" off her forthcoming album. And Paula gives a clear answer to those who would suggest that her singing voice has waned since her "Forever Your Girl" years: "Yeah, maybe."

The performance is pre-taped. The song is lip synched. And like "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow," her single from Randy's album last year, there are enough vocal effects and Auto-Tune tinkering at work that I could be the singer and you'd never know it.

Paula hasn't lost her choreography or dance skills, though — she's on point and sharp as a tack as she struts across the stage. But it's still too bad she didn't use this moment on the singing competition she's been a part of for nearly a decade to really, y'know, sing.

DOUBTLESS, INDEED
Suddenly, we're whisked from mindless chatter between Seacrest and Paula to the heady mid-'90s, from whence No Doubt has apparently been yanked. Lead singer Gwen Stefani has enjoyed many years of solo success since, but when she appears on stage, she looks exactly as she did during the band's "Tragic Kingdom" years. It's as if Bill Clinton is still in office, Microsoft is still dominating the world and the Internet bubble never burst.

Quick! If you're a Democrat, now's your chance to fly to Florida and campaign like hell for Al Gore! Or to start saving up to put your life savings on Mine That Bird. But if a dude named Madoff asks for any of your cash, run like the wind.

Gwen's a gal who has no need to lip synch, even though she bounds around the stage like a whirling dervish. And does push-ups? Right. Mid-'90s. Must be a Jack Palance reference.

Indeed, the most impressive thing about this performance is the energy that Gwen and the boys bring to it. If gas prices ever spike again, I want to power my car with whatever Gwen's drinking.

It does my heart good to see them back together. And I can't wait for that album.

SAFETY FIRST
So, remember the top four? Y'know, youngish guys, teenage gal? With the red hair? Yeah, them. They're waiting patiently for their results while we've been dancing and lip synching and push-upping and such.

Seacrest reminds us before he gets to the smashing of dreams that the Idolites who make it to the top three get to engage in elaborately choreographed tours through their home towns, where people who used to scoff at them pretend to be nice to them because they're famous. We are then, of course, treated to shots of past contestants heading home, like David Cook, David Archuleta, Taylor Hicks, Blake Lewis, Jordin Sparks and, fresh from the Witness Protection Program, Syesha Mercado and Bo Bice. And more Bo Bice. And another shot of Bo Bice.

Really, America — what did you ever see in Bo Bice?

Anyway. The Idolites take the stage, and Seacrest tells us that the finalists will be announced in random order. Which means that he can mess with our heads in any way he sees fit.

It's tension city as Seacrest reads through the judges' reactions to each contestant's performance. And finally, one is sent to safety: Kris! Who I had thought for sure was going to be cut tonight.

I'm very, very glad to have been wrong. He's a consummate performer with a radio-friendly sound who's gotten a bum rap, in my opinion, from the judges. He might not survive past next week, but he surely deserves to make it to the top three.

AND A PARTRIDGE IN A DAUGHTRY
Before we learn more, we're treated to the rockin' sounds of Daughtry, the band fronted by Chris Daughtry, natch, who was booted from "Idol" at this point in season five. Since then, his band has released a quadruple platinum album, Seacrest tells us, so losing your "Idol" gig isn't always so bad.

The tune we hear is "No Surprise," the first single from the band's forthcoming album. It's not a bad song — similar to the kind of earnestly delivered poppy rock that's thus far defined the Daughtry canon.

It'll do well on corporate radio.

RED ALERT
Finally, we return to Danny, Adam and Allison and the decision that will pare our top four to three.

Seacrest removes one Idolite from contention immediately: Adam. I'd say "no surprise" here, but last week's results kind of made me wonder if Adam had permanently lost his mojo.

Congratulations, Team Adam. Don't call it a comeback. He's been here for weeks.

That leaves Allison and Danny. Allison has less of a lock on popularity, but has given consistently better performances, especially this week. Danny has never been in the bottom three, but this week had one of the weakest showings we've seen on the "Idol" stage in weeks. Which one wins out?

Danny. Meh.

Which means we say goodbye to Allison. She tears up a little as she watches her farewell montage, then launches into another scorching rendition of Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." And while her performance still isn't perfect, she absolutely sings her face off.

So far, each Idolite who's voted off seems to be the one whose time seems to be up. And as much as I hate to admit it, that's how it feels this week, too.

Allison's a spectacular singer. She has a natural talent and appears to have honed it to a fine fighting edge. Her interviews often degenerated into gibberish and I never quite felt like I got her personality, but she's a goofy, funny, likable kid who transforms on stage into a performer whose style and maturity transcend her age. I hope she'll crank an album out soon. That voice will get her places.

So, we're left with three guys who couldn't be more different. Danny's the guy with the growly sound who rarely hits the mark in his performances but perseveres nonetheless. Kris has the lighter, folkier sound, an ear for melody and a knack for arranging. And Adam has the glitz, the glamour, a voice that can reach the stratosphere and a gift for stagecraft and song tweaking that reaches almost super-power level.

Will Adam's resurgence continue? Can Kris ride his dark horse to the finale? Can anything stop Danny's legion of fans? We'll find out soon enough.

» NEXT WEEK: The top three go home, and we get to watch. Lucky us. Also, they sing! On the docket: two songs each, one chosen by the contestant, one by the judges. I'll choose to write a preview for your Express print editions on Tuesday, then the judges will determine that I should publish recaps Wednesday and Thursday mornings here on ExpressNightOut.com/idol.

Between then and now, what do you think about the top three — was it the group you would have picked? Did Allison go home to early? Should Danny still be in the competition? Should Adam? Should Kris? We're down to the wire now — leave your thoughts in the comments section below while you still can!

» HOW ARE THE Idolites' home towns responding to their triumphant returns? We check in with coverage of Danny Gokey in Milwaukee, Adam Lambert in San Diego and Kris Allen in Conway, Arkansas.

Photos courtesy Fox