Baggage Check: Father Thinks Young; Child Thinks 'Gross'

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My dad is going through a midlife crisis and has become a male cougar, dating someone close to my age. I love my dad, but this terrifies me, considering his new girlfriend could pass as my sister. I see my dad again in a couple weeks. How do I confess that I know about this? — Ick

I don't know. How DO you know about this? I'm betting honesty is the best policy, unless the answer involves something like peeking around in his underwear drawer. As for your discomfort, feel free to get some space at first, but if they get more serious, you'll need to be able to pry your mind open about the situation — so, don't close it too tightly.

A few months ago, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I wasn't exactly itching to, but I took the plunge as a way of telling her that I'm committed. But when a friend asked whether this was really what I wanted, my best answer was a feeble "I guess so," and now I can't get this out of my head. We're both in our mid-20s, and this is the first long-term relationship for both of us. Lately, there's been this underlying bitterness between us that surfaces with very little provocation. I know she loves me and wants to get married, and it's me who's the indecisive one. My friends who are in relationships all seem to be so much more settled about it, more in love than I am. Why can't we like each other more? When I've actually thought through breaking up, the worst is the idea that we've both wasted time. Just thinking about the kind of energy it would take to build a relationship with someone else, and probably end up in the same situation, leaves me depressed. Additionally, I'd feel guilty for leaving her right now. — Help?

You don't propose to "show you're committed" — that's for things like serving her soup when she's sick, and not ogling the waitress. You propose because you are absolutely certain that you want her by your side until — and during — your very last gasp.

I think you know the answer here. I'm rarely this strong-minded (especially when I haven't yet had my Tabasco), but she and you shouldn't be engaged, at the very least right now, and possibly not ever. When you ask yourself "Why can't we like each other more?" just visualize asking that again and again for the next 50 years!

If you'd feel guilty leaving her now, imagine it when your lives are even more entangled — legally, emotionally, financially and socially. I see the fear of starting over with someone else, but how are you so sure it'd leave you in the same situation? Have you never seen any happy marriages?

Take the un-plunge. And here's how you feel better about your choice: by knowing you did the right thing (and the ever-reliable elixir of time).

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.

Art by Ben Claassen III for Express