WHAT DO YOU DO about a constant whiner? Nothing is ever good enough for my girlfriend. She jokes that she is high-maintenance, but it's much more annoying than that. Things seem to be getting worse now that we've been together almost two years. She complains about everything. From her own issues with job and school to how our apartment looks to traffic to whatever restaurant or movie we've chosen for the night. — Tired of It
There are all kinds of people in this world. While some will see the glass as half-full, others will focus on how one of the pieces of ice in it is slightly misshapen. Your girlfriend might just be one of these latter people, and though you say it seems to be getting worse, I wonder whether it's just getting on your nerves more now that she's becoming a bigger part of your life.
Of course, there's also the possibility that she is be depressed. Irritability and cynicism can be hallmarks of depression, even if you don't detect an underlying sadness. Either way, it's time to talk to her. It will be important to determine whether she's bothered by it, is bothered that you're bothered by it, and is willing to make changes. Only if these three conditions are met will you then be able to help her make a plan — whether through stress management techniques — gentle reminders or even therapy, to make a dent in the problem.
Continue Reading "Baggage Check: Complaining About His Girlfriend, The Complainer" »
"NEW MOON," the latest installment of the "Twilight" saga, opens in theaters this Friday, promising viewers a look into the darkest period of heroine Bella Swan's life. Although most of us probably can't relate to the travails of loving a 100-something-year-old vampire with pals who'd like to sink their teeth into you, the dark part we get — the shortest day of the year is just one month away, and ever since daylight-savings time ended, work often requires waking up before dawn and not heading home until after dusk.
That means most of our workouts these days (or, er, nights) are going to be while the sun is hiding, so it's a fitting time to think about how to exercise like a vampire.
When it comes to running, vamps' lightening-quick speed just comes naturally, but humans have to work at it. And while the undead don't mind going undetected, that's not going to fly for us fangless folks.
"You want to be spotted out there," says Kathy Dalby, co-owner of the local Pacers running store chain, who recommends products that advertise "360 degrees of reflectivity" with slivers of silver that make you hard to miss. One favorite: the Nightlife line from Brooks, which features jackets, vests, pants and more in a blinding yellow hue.
THE IDEA OF RUNNING HILLS makes a lot of joggers want to, well, run for the hills. But if you train only on flat terrain, chances are you're going to be in for a rude awakening — or, at least, a rude incline — at your next race. "Rarely do you get a totally flat course," says Sean Hanrahan, the endurance coach at Rockville's Life Time Fitness (1151 Seven Locks Road; 240-314-7022), who's leading a "Hills Are Your Friends" workshop this Saturday at 8 a.m. (non-members welcome, too; just register ahead of time).
Not feeling too chummy right now? Hanrahan promises to change that by retooling your stride. "What we're trying to do is teach the body how to lean forward," he explains. That doesn't mean hinging from the hips, but rather the ankles, almost like you're ready to splat flat on your face. If you can harness that momentum to help propel you forward, you'll have more energy to conquer elevation. And, he adds, proper positioning raises the odds that you'll load weight on your feet correctly, too.
Since he expects to attract a mix of indoor and outdoor runners, Hanrahan hopes to split the two hours between treadmill time and outdoor terrain. Both have advantages — machines let you play with elevation and stamina in any way you choose, and the outdoors offers more unpredictability. Whichever you prefer, Hanrahan says there's nowhere to go but up.
TRAILERS FOR "NEW MOON" have teen girls in a tizzy, and that's in no small part due to a shirtless shot of Taylor Lautner. But while movie magic may be responsible for turning his character, Jacob, into a werewolf, it was the 17-year-old actor's hard work that transformed him into a total fox. The plot calls for Jacob to undergo a huge growth spurt, so in order to secure the part, Lautner promised to pack on weight. He delivered with a whopping 30 pounds of extra muscle in mere months, a feat that's made him a weight room hero. His new bod landed him on the front of the December issue of Men's Health (on newsstands today) as the youngest cover model ever.
So, could anybody do that? We asked Mark Crick, co-owner of D.C.'s Balance Gym. The answer is no, even if you were to follow Lautner's reported regimen of daily two-hour workouts and constant chowing down. "Gaining muscle is probably the hardest thing to do at the gym," Crick says. "It's easy to put on size. But size isn't lean muscle."
Lautner must have turned the basic formula of "lift heavy, lift often and eat" into a full-time job. Crick explains that the most exhausting and effective workouts focus on compound movements, such as dead lifts, bench presses, pull-ups and squats, to activate multiple muscles simultaneously. Nutrition must be planned out in detail, especially during the 30-minute window after a lifting session. And though Lautner's alleged dating life has gotten recent press — Taylor squared! — he's probably been spending more time in bed than on the town. "You need rest to grow," Crick adds.
Crick thinks Lautner's age may have helped — it's only natural that a 16-year-old raging with hormones would continue to grow. "Hopefully, he's not getting anyone to jab him with something extra," Crick adds.
The real test is going to come as he prepares for future films; he's promised to bulk up more for each one as the series continues. "That is going to be twice as hard," Crick says. "I suggest he start eating now and bring a bench press into his bedroom."
» The Twilight Workout: Stay safe while exercising after work -- and after nightfall.
Photo by Getty Images
TIBETAN MONKS DON'T have much hair, so you probably never realized that their mountainous country was home to sea buckthorn, a berry known for promoting gorgeous locks, skin and nails. This exotic super-food — packed with omegas-3, 6, 7 and 9 — provides the basis for Sibu Beauty. So, we decided to give the line a whirl.
We started by slathering on the Repair & Protect facial cream ($19.95, Sibubeauty.com), which felt fab as it moisturized our skin instantly. And it smelled good enough to eat, so we quickly went next for a shot of Revitalize & Renew ($29.95), a liquid supplement that tastes like mango puree. That kept us from downing the Cleanse & Detox ($5.95) bar of aromatic facial soap — but just barely.
To recap: You'll glow and smell delicious.
SUNDAY: Are you too hip for your elbow patches? Well, hold on to your slim volume of T.S. Eliot, because the District's first Tweed Ride is about to land.
Tweed-clad cyclists will congregate on H St. NE and pedal leisurely through the District, winding up at Marvin on 14th and U St. for a post-ride shindig. Stay tuned to the event's Facebook page for updates, or follow its Twitter feed. Or hey, just watch for smoke signals.
Even if you don't have a bike, feel free to come to the party afterward. It starts whenever the ride gets done, around 3:30 p.m. Although, if you're going to crash the bash sans wheels, at least wear a respectable volume of tweed.
» Meet at the corner of 8th and H streets NE; 11 a.m., free.
Photo from 2009 London Tweed Run
Dr. Andrea Bonior dives into the world of psychology. 
REMEMBER THE TIME that you, Miley Cyrus, Michael Dukakis and that girl who works at Target were all playing croquet together? Underwater?
It seems absurd, until you compare it to other dreams you might have had, in which case such an athletic showdown would be quite run-of-the-mill indeed. The purpose and significance of dreaming has long been a focus of fascination and study, and recent research sheds some additional light.
NO MATTER WHAT GYM you're in, a treadmill will operate basically the same way. Ditto for a set of hand weights. But when you walk into a group exercise studio for the first time, there's usually no way of really knowing what you're going to get -- and that's a problem for the folks in charge, who want to ensure you'll never leave bored or frustrated.
"Group exercise is about members, not the instructor. If the name of the class is the same, no matter who's up there, it should be the same class," says Adriane Morgan, group fitness director for the local Vida chain (Vidafitness.com). So, in the past few months she's introduced Group Centergy, Group Step, Group Power, Group Kick and Group Groove. It's the D.C.-area debut for the programs developed by Body Training Systems (BTS), an Atlanta-based company that gives instructors new music, moves and teaching techniques every three months, freeing them to focus on the experience.
It's ideal for someone such as Kelly Charles, who's taught yoga and Budokon but had never led a dance class until she was in front of the room last week when Vida debuted BTS' Group Groove. "For me, group exercise is a whole different style of movement. I can't stop and fix someone's alignment in the middle of class," she says. "BTS trained us on everything -- the styles, the body language. As a teacher, it's made it easier to get up here."
Terry Browning, president of BTS, compares instructors to artists. "Most singers aren't songwriters. It's not often that's it's all by one person," he says. And the stronger the material is, and the less overworked the instructor is, the better the class is bound to be, he adds.
Continue Reading "Attack of the Clones: The Rise of Standardized Group Exercise" »
I THINK I'VE MANAGED to do pretty well for myself, and I've worked very hard for what I have. But I have a financially well-off friend who's pointed out that all my problems are related to money (with the subtext that if I dated him, that wouldn't be a problem). I am not an acquisition piece for hire. He expects me to rearrange my schedule to hang out with him and attend his parties for 100 as part of our friendship. Conversations with him consist of his dating travails and how his schedule reflects spending time with people who will be useful to him. He's finally gotten the point that he shouldn't stop by my apartment unannounced, but what was once a friendship is now a series of dreaded interactions. The egotism -- combined with a moral code in many ways opposite of mine -- make me want to have nothing to do with him. How do I rid myself of him without turning into the same type of jerk he is? -- No Name, Please
I wonder whether, in your desire not to be a jerk, you've made yourself into a bowl of jelly. By all means, if you don't feel respected by someone and you "dread" interactions with him, pull the plug. He'll no longer expect you to attend his parties if you stop coming to them. You won't have to endure annoying conversations with him if you don't partake in them. He got the point about stopping by; he'll get the point about your friendship's heading out to pasture if you simply start spacing out your contact.
You need not be rude; you simply grow "busier" and decline invitations. Don't forget that in relationships, you have the power not just to do something, but to not do something, too.
Continue Reading "Baggage Check: With Friends Like These, Say You're Too Busy" »
AH, THE JOYS of pregnancy -- hearing the heartbeat for the first time and stockpiling teeny-tiny outfits. But there is the other stuff: the backaches, the stretched-to-their-limits ligaments, the swollen hands and feet. With prenatal massage promising to alleviate those pains and then some, it's no wonder expectant moms are drawn to the spa.
According to studies by the American Massage Therapy Association, pregnancy massage is one of the most popular specializations among massage therapists. Among the issues massage is said to help are back and joint pain, circulation, muscle tension, nerve pain and insomnia. Advocates also tout massage's ability to quell edema, or swelling, especially in the hands and feet.
But does it really do all that?
Definitely, says Deborah Wickenheiser, a therapist certified in pregnancy massage at the Teal Center for Therapeutic Bodywork at Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington (1701 N. George Mason Drive; Tealcenter.com). "It helps overall with keeping the immune system active and in good shape," she says.
Maybe, says John Larsen, chairman of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at George Washington University. "If they mean you'll have less ankle swelling, I don't know about that," he says, "But you can certainly have major improvement in the aches and pains of pregnancy."
And that's the main thing, says Emily Barton, a nurse practitioner at Georgetown University Hospital's Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. "It helps with general sore muscle and ligament pain that comes with pregnancy. Those would probably be the top two factors that we would recommend massage for," she says.
Continue Reading "Massages for Mommy: How Rubdowns Can Ease the Aches of Pregnancy" »
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