Baggage Check: Moving Forward After a Mistake In the Workplace

I made a costly and embarrassing mistake at work that got me a lot of grief from the team that I work with. They claim that it is over, but I cannot stop berating myself, and I feel that they hold a grudge and have taken away some of my responsibility. I doubt everything I do and second-guess myself constantly because I am afraid of messing up again. I don't know how to clear my head. — Ugh, MD.

First, try "thought-stopping": Every time you feel thoughts of your mistake intruding, do something immediate and decisive to force yourself back onto a different mental path. Mantras, visualizations, deep breaths or even rubber band snaps against your wrist can help — you must condition yourself to quit ruminating on your goof-up. You can also symbolically destroy your regrets by writing them down and blackening them out, shredding them or burning them (I wouldn't do the latter in your office).

Then, move forward. Ask for autonomy on a new, smaller project that you know you can give your all on and nail from start to finish. Have a tete-a-tete with your supervisor, if need be. A final debriefing could bring the clarity you need to put this to rest.

Renovate Your Relationship
My husband and I purchased a house 22 months ago with the intention of moving in before our first child was born a month later. We still have not moved in. (We've been living in a one-bedroom unit — with two dogs and a baby.) My husband says he's renovating the place as quickly as possible, but can't give me a definite time frame. He doesn't acknowledge my feelings and gets angry that I'm not more "supportive" of him and his efforts. I feel like this is ruining our relationship. — Please Help!

Both of you seem to be feeling unacknowledged. As a first step, you might try to validate him. Admitting how difficult this must be for him will help him feel more open to understanding your point of view. You might also set some "house rules" — or "no-house" rules — times when talk of plumbing, grouting and spackling is prohibited. When things get really tense, you can write each other notes about how you're feeling, and then give yourselves some space to read them alone before you interact.
But you also need a more concrete plan, with clear weekly goals. Your resentment can't disappear without seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps expectations need to be lowered about what "move-in" condition looks like.

In the meantime, distract yourself with outdoor activities when the walls are closing in, and don't be afraid to ask for help from family and friends to give you the chance to spend some time alone together, in peace, to try to reconnect without daily stressors.

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.

Art by Ben Claassen III for Express

It's the Pits: SweatBlock

NO MATTER WHAT your style, come D.C. summer, everyone starts sporting the same trend: pit stains! But perhaps the dampness can be vanquished through the magic of SweatBlock ($19.99, Sweatblock.com).

The idea is you dab at your underarms with presoaked pads one night before bed, and then you'll wake up with dry pits for a week. That sounded awesome to our tester, who thinks she's moister than average folks.

But it didn't smell so good to her: "It was like wood burning." And though the aluminum chloride hexahydrate-based formula's stench wore off by morning, it also didn't seem to work at all (and because it tackles perspiration, not odor, she applied deodorant every morning anyway). "I was rooting for it," she reported wistfully.

A Spring in Your Step: Kangoo Jumps at Gold's

AEROBICS INSTRUCTORS ARE usually a bouncy bunch, but Beth Kruper takes the stereotype to new heights — literally. With Kangoo Jumps — boots fitted with a circular spring on the bottom — she leads classes that'll have you jumping for joy (and, eventually, oy).

What it is: While Gold's Gym toys with the idea of making rebounding shoes a staple at its facilities, folks at the Lorton and Woodbridge locations have been able to test them out once a week.

Just slipping on the footwear ups your calorie burn because the curved, unstable base forces users to engage their cores (or wobble all over). As 13-year-old Selina Doucet says while strapping in at a recent class, "It feels like I'm hopping on a trampoline." Watching first-timers always gives Kruper a laugh. "They get so elated," she says. But that's probably because they don't know what she has in store for them in the next hour.

Moves: Get ready to hop up and down, because you'll be doing every possible variation of it — on one leg, while turning in a circle, heading backward, kicking out to the side. Most of the steps are cardio classics (think squats and jumping jacks), but Kruper also tests students' coordination by choreographing mini dance routines. She ends with an abs segment that takes advantage of the boots' weight.

Workout: Your joints get to take it easy because Kangoo Jumps reduce the impact of smacking the ground. But your heart has a harder job. "You're continuously jumping for an hour, so, yes, it's challenging," promises Jessica Moore, 26, whose husband, Vince, is also hooked. They just bought a pair to wear while playing with their three dogs. For Kristin Lynch, 39, the classes are a fun and fast way to knock out her cardio needs: "You get a lot of bang for your buck." But you don't get banged up — despite everyone's fears that they're going to topple over, it almost never happens.

Crowd: The goofy aspect of it (and the fact that wearing the boots adds a good 6 inches to your height) appeals to kids, but little ones tend not to have the endurance needed to keep up with everything in Kruper's classes. She says it helps to be able to run two to three miles, but, of course, there's no shame in taking a time out or a water break. No matter your fitness level, you'll want to take a few anyway.

Garb: You can buy your own pair of boots (at ), but since Gold's has a large selection, you really need only socks. Swap those cute short ones that hit at your ankle for the long, old-school style to help protect your skin. Nothing wipes a smile off your face faster than a blister.

» Held at Gold's Gym Lorton (7700 Gunston Plaza) on Saturdays at 11:30 a.m., and Gold's Gym Lake Ridge (12550 Dillingham Square, Woodbridge) on Sundays at 10 a.m. Contact Kruper at Jumpforjoyfitness@live.com.

Photos by Lawrence Luk for Express

Flower Power: Take Mom Out to Eat Petals

HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE about what to buy mom for Mother's Day? Take her to one of the three outposts of Sweetgreen (Georgetown, Dupont and Bethesda, see Sweetgreen.com for locations) for an innovative take on the classic bouquet: a flower-garnished salad.

"When I think of what every single son will get his mother for Mother's Day, it's flowers," says Nicolas Jammet, co-owner of the eco-minded salad and fro-yo purveyor. Jammet came up with the idea for the promotion with partners Nathaniel Ru and Jonathan Neman.

The $9 Mother's Day salad — which will be available only this Sunday (although similar versions may be ordered through the restaurant's catering service) — tosses together baby arugula, carrots, beets, green apples, goat cheese and cilantro with a lime-cilantro vinaigrette, and is topped with edible orchids, pansies and/or chive blossoms. The exact type of petals in the salad will depend on whichever flower is freshest this weekend.

If you close your eyes, you might not even notice you're munching on delicate florals, though. They just have a hint of flavor — Jammet describes the edible orchid as having a "slight peppery taste."

And although some blossoms are known for containing vitamins and nutrients (roses and rose hips, for instance, are high in vitamin C), don't expect any notable benefits from the smattering of petals.

"Even if [flowers] were nutritional powerhouses, you eat so little of them that I don't think it would make a very significant difference for your nutrition," explains Colleen Gerg, a Chevy Chase-based registered dietician in private practice (202-342-1560).

Still, eating petals isn't for naught nutritionally, especially since Sweetgreen's Mother's Day salad contains a healthy mix of colorful vegetables.

"I'm a big believer that what you eat should be aesthetically pleasing," Gerg says.

Don't Need a Hand With This Light: HUGlight

NOT ALL RUNNERS dig reflective vests for evening jogs — even if they can, you know, save your life. So HUGlight ($14.95) is hoping the holdouts will want a dual-headed bendy flashlight instead.

The idea is that two bright LED bulbs can point wherever you wish without requiring you to use your hands. So, in theory, you could wrap one of these around the back of your neck and have instant mini headlights. (Or taillights, if you don it the opposite way.)
We had a problem with these scenarios, though: bouncing! We couldn't even go a quarter-mile without wanting to hurl the jiggly, wiggly nuisance to the ground. We experimented with wrapping it around our upper arm, which worked slightly better. But, really, you're better off in an ugly orange vest.

Walk the Walk to Wow: Stacey Capers

DON'T THINK WALKING is real exercise? Tell that to Stacey Capers, who tipped the scale at 221 pounds when she and her husband appeared on season six of "The Biggest Loser" last year. The Gainesville, Va., couple managed to lose a whopping combined 145 pounds.

And their journey, as the saying goes, started with a single step — and then a whole lot more. You can join them at their new boot camps, meant for folks of any fitness level, starting in Gainesville and Vienna this month (see Icando
fitness.com for more).

» EXPRESS: Why was walking important to your weight loss?
» CAPERS: Going back to Day One on the ranch, all we could do was walk. A lot of people who are overweight have joint problems, ankle problems, so we would walk — upwards of two and three hours a day. You've got to walk before you can run, right?

We got eliminated early, so when we came home, we still weren't up for running. We took every chance to get in extra walking — parking farther away, circling the mall. It wasn't that we had never walked before, but we had never used it in a way to make it effective for us to lose weight.

» EXPRESS: So, how did you manage to keep walking for two hours?
» CAPERS: It helps to have Bob Harper screaming at you. It's very tough to stay on a treadmill for two hours, so it's nice if you belong to a gym and can distract yourself with TV shows or an MP3 player.
Now that the weather's good, I walk outside. We love going on the W&OD Trail.
But you have to keep it semi-intense if you want to produce results. Use inclines, or incorporate a hill in your walk. It can be as hard as a run. I get more excited by interval walking — walking faster for two minutes, then recovering.

» EXPRESS: What was your reaction when you first saw the results of all that walking?
» CAPERS: I was surprised. That first week, I lost 9 pounds, and that was from walking. At no time had I ever lost that much weight in one week.

» EXPRESS: How do you keep walking as part of your routine?
» CAPERS: We take our two kids out for walks, push the stroller around and make it a family affair.
And we've done the Walk for Hope for years. It's always a good time. Those sorts of events are great because you're giving to a charity and you get something, too. They're not timed, you can take as long as you want, and you're adding years to your life.

Photo courtesy Stacey Capers

Stop Sitting: National Start! Walking Day

THE AMERICAN HEART Association is setting its sights lower than your ticker tomorrow. It wants your feet to participate in National Start! Walking Day — either by hoofing it for 30 minutes on your own or joining one of two local free rallies (at Georgetown University's Healy Lawn from noon to 1 p.m., and the American Heart Association headquarters, at 4301 N. Fairfax Drive in Arlington from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m.). That red guy pictured above will be there, thrilled that participants are reducing their cholesterol and risk of coronary heart disease.

Want more reasons to put on your walking shoes? Think about signing up for these upcoming events:
» Walk for Lupus Now (April 18, suggested minimum $100 fundraising goal) is a 1.5-mile route down Pennsylvania Avenue.
» Walk MS (April 25 and 26,no registration fee but fundraising is encouraged) is at six sites in the Washington region, with distances ranging from three miles (downtown) to eight miles (in Montgomery County).
» Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (May 2 and 3, minimum fundraising goal $1,800) covers a marathon and a half through the D.C. region over the course of two days.
» Break the Silence (May 9, $15) welcomes supporters to join in a 1-mile walk in Reston, Va.

Photo courtesy American Heart Association

Whatever the Weather: Start! Walking at Home

A LITTLE RAIN shouldn't dampen your enthusiasm for exercise. And Leslie Sansone, the walk rock star, won't let it with her new DVDs.

"Start! Walking at Home" is Sansone's latest stab at making exercise accessible in your living room. The routines don't require dance steps or incredible strength, but they'll get your heart rate up — think fast footwork, kicks and sidesteps — as you march to the beat of quickening music. Buy the DVDs ($14.95) or download the three individual workouts ($6.99-$14.99). For the next year, 10 percent of the proceeds go to the American Heart Association.

Accident Prone: Don't Get Damaged Like the Stars

HE'S SNORTED worms and vaulted into a ceiling fan — but what's making former "Jackass" star Steve-O (a.k.a. Stephen Glover) sore lately? The fox-trot.

As a contestant on "Dancing With the Stars," he's one of this season's many battered bold names. Knee injuries sidelined Jewel and Nancy O'Dell before the show's debut. Don't forget the voted-off Steve Wozniak (fractured foot, pulled hamstring) and Holly Madison (strained rib muscle). Steve-O is suffering from strained back muscles from a flip gone awry in rehearsals. Will the 34-year-old limp along much longer?

Only if he loosens up, says Adriane Morgan, artistic director of Bethesda's Dushor Dance Studios. "If you look at the stuff he did on 'Jackass,' his body is relaxed. He's used to being a trickster," she says. But he's not used to leading, and the result, she explains, is that the tense star stiffens his muscles (recall his wooden waltz), making himself even more susceptible to injury.

Plus, there's the issue of being fit. One needn't be an Olympian to excel (although it seems to help gymnast Shawn Johnson), but it's critical to have a solid base of strength when attempting such complicated steps so quickly. A regular routine — be it yoga or cycling — improves your timing, posture and balance. Luckily, regular folks aren't under the time constraints the celebs are and can (and should) work up to fancy footwork. "They need to be patient with themselves," Morgan says. Hear that, Steve-O?

Baggage Check: She Thinks She's Getting a Ring

My girlfriend and I are sort of in the "pre-proposal" stage. She has picked out a ring and knows my timeline for giving it to her. It feels like a done deal. But, honestly, I think I am making a mistake in marrying her. At first, I thought it was classic "cold feet," but now I am more certain there are reasons I shouldn't stay with her. I feel like I need to call it off, but I don't even know what "it" is. How can I run from this with the least damage possible?
— Joe Schmoe

You know what you must do, and I hope you realize that a pre-proposal dumping is better than a post-proposal dumping, which is still better than a post-marital dumping. (Which is, to run with the theme, much better than a marriage of misery.)

You won't be able to "run" from this — that's at total cross-purposes with creating the "least damage possible." Instead, you need honesty, empathy and consistency as your guideposts. Once you are certain that this is the choice you must make, don't waffle or leave room for misinterpretation.

You also need to define the "it" and acknowledge the depth of this loss for both of you. Who cares that she doesn't yet have a ring? Minimizing your relationship because you hadn't booked the DJ will invalidate her grief and get in the way of her eventually moving on.

An additional honorable thing would be, after a bit of time goes by, to write a note to her family wishing them well, if you were at all connected to them. Not only does this recognize that they were a part of your life, but it can help them get clear, indisputable closure and help them encourage her to do so, too. Three words for this whole endeavor: kind but firm.

I recently found out a co-worker has been cutting corners on some assigned projects and getting an administrative assistant to take the blame (unwillingly). And there is the possibility that she is stealing money from the company. I honestly think she is psycho. She is out only for herself and doesn't seem to care that she is bringing others down with her. How do you reason with someone like that?
— Extremely Annoyed, VA.

You don't. You go straight for the tranquilizer gun.

Seriously, let's cut out the "psycho" talk — that's not a word that should be used lightly (or at all, really). It sounds like you have a co-worker who is lazy, manipulative and possibly criminal, but trying to diagnose or demonize her won't help the issue.

It's also not your job to reason with her. If you have cause to suspect she's stealing money, you must bring it to your supervisor's attention. Be honest and clear, but discreet, or it'll appear you're tattling because of a personal vendetta.

Art by Eric Reece for Express

True Roe-mance: Caviar Facials at Lorien Spa

HOLD THE BLINI: The new Lorien Spa (1600 King St., Alexandria, 703-894-3434) serves caviar in a whole new way via its signature Rejuvenating Caviar Dream Cream facial ($200), which promises to zap away lines and bestow that elusive youthful glow.

Before the slathering, however, comes the pampering. Upon entering the basement spa, you're whisked into changing rooms appointed with saunas (which scent the place with eucalyptus), large showers and lockers. Then come kitten-soft robes and Oka B slippers — anti-microbial vegan slides with raised nubs in the foot bed that massage your arches.

As a first course, take in the candlelit relaxation room. You can unwind pre-treatment with minted water or herbal tea and dip into apothecary jars full of nuts, raisins and banana chips.

Then, you'll be collected and tucked into a dangerously comfortable treatment bed. This is the point when therapist Ludmilla Toppi explains two things. The first is that she'll be rehydrating your skin and improving its texture. And the second is to clear up a common misconception: "Most people think I'm going to paint their faces with actual caviar." But there will be no tin of sevruga: The spa's aestheticians use Kerstin Florian products, a swanky American line that harvests natural ingredients, including the fancy fish eggs.

The process begins with a steam-activated pineapple enzyme peel to slough off dead skin cells and promote the creation on new ones. As the natural peel starts to hum (not tingle), you'll start drifting off. By the time you're fit with a "Biomatrix" mask — a "pancake" infused with mineral-rich seaweed — you'll be so near sleep that you'll barely remember the massages on your face, hands and feet.

But wake up or you'll miss the application of the Dream Cream itself, a tiny ampule of protein-packed, fish oil-filled, honey-colored serum. Toppi explains the contents are sensitive to air and are active for only a week. It might not look like a blini, but it sure seems posh.

It also seems effective: The result is blotch-free, rejuvenated skin. You may never want to put caviar in your mouth again — just on your cheeks.

Make Edible Arrangements
As Mother's Day approaches, think about skipping the champagne brunch and, instead, feed Mom's skin with a food-inspired treatment:
» Elizabeth Arden (Six area locations). The well-respected chain offers a Cream and Sugar body scrub (50 min./$100), and promotions such as pomegranate and lime pedicures.
» Mint Fitness (1724 California St. NW; 202-328-6468). The Seasonal Facial (35 min./$60) uses good-enough-to-eat ingredients.
» Nusta Spa (1129 20th St. NW; 202-530-5700; Nustaspa.com) The Provence Facial (50 min./$110) uses olive oil-based products from France to boost smoothness.
» Sports Club/LA (22nd and M streets NW; 202-974-6600) A soy balm provides dry skin relief treatment (80 min./$188).
» Trendz Rejuvenating Spa (8716 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring; 301-585-0888) Antioxidants are the key to the detoxifying Chocolate Body Wrap (80 min./$100).

Photo by iStock

9:30 Club: Enter for a Chance to Win a Pair of FREE Tickets to See Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings!

In today's music scene, where anyone with a laptop and a kazoo can call themselves a musician, it's nice to know that American musical tradition lives on in Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings. Arguably the closest thing around to the original golden age of soul music, New York-based Jones and the Dap-Kings faithfully recreate the sounds of mid-'60s to mid-'70s records, even going so far as to exclusively play instruments made during that era.

Enter for a chance to win a FREE pair of tickets to...
» What: Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings with Naomi Shelton and the Gospel Queens
» When: Saturday, May 9, 6:30 p.m.
» Where: 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW; 202-265-0930. (U St.-Cardozo)

To enter, please e-mail promo@expressnightout.com and enter "Sharon" in the subject line.

To purchase tickets to see Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, please click here.

This show is presented by the 9:30 Club.